I had the most amazing evening with one of our amazing elders ( and his beautiful wife). Through the course of the night it was pointed out to me that one of the things that I fear most is being abandoned. Well, when light is shed on stuff like that the only thing to do is break it off. Only then the freedom can come.
Wow what freedom! I based so many of my life's decisions based on whether people would leave me. One person comes to mind, I noticed that she was a start up the relationship and then leave kind of person. So I talked to her because I did not want to invest into someone who would just drop me by the side of the road. I made plans ( up until Monday night) about who I would pick if the church went bad and I had to choose sides. Who would be most likely to be loyal? The way I treated people was all about getting them rely on me and then they could not leave because they were dependent on me. Or just drop relationship first if I thought that they would leave.
So now where do I go from here? I was told there would be an attack, maybe a distraction on this path of walking in freedom. I think Satan sent two distractions. But I have recognized them and I will keep walking.
The weight is gone. I wonder what the next thing god is going to dig up in my life?
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Hey lady, i am glad you are learning not to base relationships on abandonment possibilities. I want to encourage you not to give Satan too much credit, sometimes our own fleshly soul raises things up so that we protect our selves and sometimes God places things and people in our lives to mould us and form us into his image. Keep Walkin':)
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