I am feeling peaceful. It has been a long time since I have felt like this. Things are geting dealt with, I like my job, I am making new friends and old, valuable friendships are being restored. Life is good.
I think that I am going to rock the boat a little bit in two weeks. I am going to go home. I have not been there since march of 2005. I really do not like that place, I dislike it so much that I did not even go there for christmas. I am going for my mothers 50 birthday/ 30 wedding anniversary. There will be a ton of relatives there, some whom I have not seen since my wedding.
I am also going to be around a lot of my old church family. That terrifies me. There will be some people there who genuinley love me and have done their best to restore their relationship with me. ( Thanks Catherine, Rene and Paul) But there will be others there that I would rather just avoid. People that cause bitterness to rise up in me. So I am going to take it to God and we will see what happens. Heck I might just run into my Ex -husband. That could be interesting.
Then I might decide to drive home on Sunday morning. I found out who will be preaching that morning and it will be worth getting up at 5 am to be at church. I hope I can do it, trouble is sleep tends to win out a lot of the time.
So hopefully that weekend is not going to cause more wounding, which will give me an excuse to fall. I am in a much better place then I was one year ago, so it should go so much better then last time.
2 comments:
I am excited for what God is doing in you. There are never any excuses for falling. Your God will always provide you a door to stand up under whatever sin wants to befall you. You are in HIM and HE is in you. HE gives strength for all that to which he calls us to do. Blessings
Amen princess,
God will use this as an opportunity to bring healing into your life, not more wounding, if and only if you allow Him to come in and move in ways that will feel uncomfortable. You will feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is in those places that God is able to chip away at what we have built up around us. This is a time to be excited for! not anxious or nervous! Look at it as one more step closer to healing and victory, one more step closer in your relationship with God, now that's something to be looking forward to! :)
Look forward to hearing all about the neat things God will do.
(so glad to hear you're doing well, I've been thinking about you lots, have not forgotten.....love you)
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