I am not trash

I was talking to a very wise woman the other day, who is also divorced, and I asked her how long it took her to recover from her divorce. She said that "she hopes she is healed from it now", many years later. Really ,does anyone ever fully heal from that kind of trauma. You heal as best you can but the scars are always there.

She continued to talk, telling me about how she felt like trash growing up, never being good enough. So when she got married the first time, there were problems because she let herself be treated like trash.

I got something that I had not gotten before. I let my husband treat me like I was trash. Did I think I was trash at the time? probably not. But as the problems got worse, I let myself think that I was worthless and not worth the time.

Now I realise that I have let that happen to me again. I felt so discarded that I thought that trash should not eat. I have also kept this trashy job because I felt that I was not worth more.

BUT I AM NOT TRASH. I am not discardable like a Tim Hortons cup. I am a valuable being with friends who love me and stand by me. I have a family. Most importantly, I have a God that will never let me be trash. I am his child and good parents do not treat their kids like trash. I have sold myself short. I am not discardable.