I feel like I have been kicked in the gut. I just can not get over it.
"Miss not so smart" was SO excited on Friday. Why? you ask, well she just got a one dollar an hour raise. So now she makes almost as much as me. And then an hour later "Miss not so smart" decides to fight with me about a weed identification. She thought campanula was chickweed and she was fighting with me in front of a customer. I did keep my cool and told her to go look it up in a book, which settled the dispute (she was wrong).
How can she work for one month and deserve a raise? Not only that but every time I turn around I hear complaints about her. Constantly. It is really hard to be nice to someone when all you here is constant complaining. I now have to be nice to her and be happy at work. I am being nice to her though. It is taking a lot of energy but I am being nice.
How do I give 110% to a job that rewards mediocricy? I have been working some really long hours trying to keep up with things because the boss is too cheap to hire more help. I really cared about the job and ensuring that I stayed caught up. I worked really really hard and some twit gets the reward.
I am now extremely tired. Not the "I do not have enough sleep" tired but the way a person feels when a project that took a lot of time energy gets destroyed. I wandered around work today, trying to look busy when really I was not. I have never ever done that before And really I did not care. I am being nice to the boss, that too is exhausting me. I work so hard at every job I have and this is the first time in my life that if projects are not done really well, I just do not care.
I will be quitting. Now it is definite. I no longer care about who will be upset or if it will cause someone to be stressed. This is the worst apathy I have ever experienced on the job. Ever
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1 comment:
wow....
I know you have had a really rough go of things over there. Remember what we were talking about though, that God doesn't nessasarily care about where we are, but He does very much care about 'what' and 'who' we are. He cares about your heart, the heart that is growing hard to those you work with, and growing hard to the mission and responsibilities He's given you (for now). I encourage you to take these things to the Lord, and lay them down. He calls us to lay down our rights, our rights to be noticed, our rights to be rewarded, our rights to see things be 'fair'. We are called to carry a big huge heavy cross along side Jesus, and be spat on, cussed at, tripped and rediculed. Our suffering does not compare to what Christ has already done for us, and it is that suffering that we have been asked to share in.
I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but I love you! And I know that if you are able to walk in obedience to what God has for you in this situation, that you're life will change. I've been so encouraged in my own walk, watching you follow after God in all things, and my sister's heart for you is that you do the same in this circumstance. Blessings, I trust the God that is very much in you, to give you the grace you will need to walk this out in victory!!!!!!
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