I did it

Well, I called my friend with the speck. She did not want to talk to me because of the big 2x4 I had, yet did not see. I asked for forgiveness and she forgave.

So now she is trying to resume a friendship. Do I want to resume this friendship with her? Cause I really do not want to. I wanted to walk in forgiveness and then let it die a peaceful death. I really am not sure if I want to be friends with someone who has such close links to my church and my ex-husband, she is directly connected to a lot of people who caused me so much pain in my life. And besides she is in France.

When we were good friends it seemed like I did all the work. She tried her best and so did I. But sometimes it just seemed to be a little one sided. You see I am a romantic. If I put a little effort into a friendship then they should love me so much, and be so blessed that I want to be their friend that they will dote on me and....

Earth to JLO. That is not how it works in the real world. Friendship is a 2 way street. I need to give and love and they need to love and give. How much they love and give will never ever be directly proportionate to what I give. (and vise versa) cause we are imperfect beings.

So do I risk being open and honest and risk getting hurt again? Or do I let it die the death that I wanted in the first place? Will it be worth the work? This is a friendship with 23 year old roots.

to be continued....