I have a pet peeve about some people and their inability to carry on a converstation. I am being forced to meet new people and make new friends due to being in a new city and am encountering this issue regularily.
I detest this one:
Me: How's it going
Them: good
Me: I hear there is a rider game tonight (safe area with many facets to discuss)
Them: yep
Me: ummmm, s-o-o-o-o do you enjoy watching foootball
Them: no
and it goes on like this for 2 or 3 more questions
me: exasperated, walk away
Conversations need to invlove effort on both parties. I am only going to try so hard to inolve said person in a conversation before I give up. Please give me a line, do not give one worded answers, they make it SO hard to continue talking.
And if you do not want to talk about yourself, then please do me the coutesy of asking me questions. I have many topics that I can discuss with little effort. Then I can do the work of carrying the conversation for a few minutes, thus avoiding the awkwardness, and the silence. Then I can gracefully leave. And other person feels good instead of feeling like a fool.
An acronim of questions courtesy of Steve S
F -family
O- occupation
R- recreation
These are excellent topics for non talkers to inquire about. They are easy and safe and all people have these in common. This allows the other person to carry the converstion and thus avoiding the awkward silence.
3 comments:
I used to be a very shy person... Like to the point of being socially handicapped. Now, (as God has grown and stretched me in this area) when I encounter people who are very shy and non-talkative, I can really empathize. I find they are so easily sluffed off, because they're either too much work, or people think they're snobby because they never want to talk to you. Having been one of those people, I can assure you we don't want others to feel that way about us. I know for someone as naturally outgoing as yourself, it's hard to deal with or understand people who seem like they don't know how to be social, but just remember that it's really hard for them, especially if they're never given situations that force them to grow (Chris's Xmas parties have really streched me in that way). Not everyone is built or created that way.
As the talkative person, you have it in your power to create a safe environment for them to open up and get chatty. Try to keep asking questions, as much as it bugs you and you wish they would ask you questions as well, keep pressing through, and one day you'll see a little breakthrough, and get to know someone who underneath the shyness and withdrawn personality.
Chris once had a friend who was like that. He's ask question after question and all this guy would give were one word answers. Chris is like you, naturally outgoing, a real people person. He found it soooo frustrating. I wish there was a real neat end to that example like, they're still friends to this day and this guy is really talkative now....but haha, they're not friends anymore. lol....
It would be real hard to build all new relationships in a new city. We're not meant to click with everyone, so don't feel like you need to. God will bless you with the relationships He has in store for you.
Blessings :)
I wrote this after another very frustrating church. This actually has people who will approach me! Then it just gets awkward. There goal is to make me feel welcomed adn unfortunately it backfires on them really badly.
Oh honey you have hit on a biggie. When do we give up and move on? When do we persevere? It's the humans, I tell ya! They'll screw it up every time! (But ya gotta luv 'em)
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